Tuesday, January 10, 2012

28 NOVEMBER 2011

I will never forget the date “ 28th November 2011. the day I suffered lost of my Baby girl. I was 22 week 5 days pregnant when I delivered her. Doctor told my hubby that they will call it a miscarriage if the baby born under 500gram. They would do nothing to save the child even if born alive. They made him sign the papers.


When the baby born, she cry… warded at NICU. 480 gram, still alive. But no support given. It really hurt me a lot. They ignored my pleas and say that the baby's chances of survival are low. It was "very difficult" to predict whether baby would live, die, be healthy or have disabilities later on in life. Because of this uncertainty, they recommends that parents, after a discussion with the healthcare, should have the final say in whether intensive care is given.


My hubby took me to NICU to see her for last time. She hold my finger. Its like she knew I’m there. I could not even call out her name which I choose before she BORN. SAKUNTALA. So painful even to utter her name. That moment I suffered seeing my baby, with the fact in my mind that the baby will not survive.


In the days and weeks, countless people told me “it will get easier.” Think positive. You still have two children. God loves her more. You are still young.


But, I still miss SAKUNTALA.

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